Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy

Hey everyone. I'm sad to say that today I had to have my beloved cat Roxy put to sleep. Long story short, she had tumors on her kidney and liver and not a lot could be done to help her. I had her for seven years exactly. I was looking at the adoption papers the other day and saw that I had adopted her on 4/27/05...exactly seven years ago on this date. Weird right? It still hasn't really set in yet that she's gone. This past week was hard....just knowing what was coming. I felt so bad that she didn't have a clue what would happen today. It was very hard to leave the vet this morning. I've gone through pretty much every phase of death: denial, anger, guilt, acceptance and back again. Some people might say "It was just a cat" and might not get why I'd be so upset. Those people obviously have never had a pet. To me, she was more than that. She was like a kid to me, I don't care how stupid that sounds. She was the first pet that was actually "mine". I adopted her. I know she's much better off now and she's no longer in pain. I imagine she's chasing a ball of yarn and sunbathing up in kitty heaven. This whole thing is still very fresh and I've been quite the rollercoaster of emotions today. I've been trying to keep my mind occupied all day by watching funny movies and browsing Pinterest. But this is the worst part. When it's time to go to bed and I'm left alone with my thoughts. This was always the time of night that Roxy would curl up beside me or even lay on my chest while I slept. Of course my instinct is to go right out and adopt another cat but I know that I need time to heal before I do anything. Trust me, I've read everything there is to know about losing a pet or dealing with the loss of a pet. So please be patient with me while I deal with this.